I fled my doctor's office in tears. I've come to realize that something about our discussion triggered a fight or flight response in me. I know I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I just thought I'd mostly dealt with it.
Some tell me I over share. While my drama sometimes sticks around when I express it, usually things get better when I can resolve my conflicts. Doing so publicly means there is a chance that someone else can benefit from my meltdowns.
The Oregon health plan allows you to change doctors twice in a 12 month period. We have few general practitioners in our rural county and I didn't quite know how to pick one. I asked around, but the doctor everyone suggested wasn't taking patients. I did find someone who patiently listened to my problems and suggested two doctors for me.
Since I don't have many choices, I have decided that I will go in with this new one with my own plan and lay down the law right off the bat. She can advise and counsel but I will decide what I will and wont do. I will be stubborn and reject any and all suggestions that I don't feel will help me.
I haven't decided if I shall disclose my emotional history. I feel it may not matter and some medical professionals use such disclosures as a kind of excuse for rejecting my point of view.
I recently told someone to play all the what ifs to a situation. Rather than sit and decide what an outcome will be, test it in your mind and figure out what to do if.... before ever going into action. Plan for the worst, make strategies then expect the best. I guess I'll take my own advice. I feel so much better now.
See, that's why I "over share." Someone might read that and take that tack in their own life.
Kind comments welcome.
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