Sweet Dreams

I told someone about a desire I have that I keep close to my heart. Thankfully my trust was justified and she let me dream without criticism. That hasn't always been the case in my life.

While riding with a friend I was happily babbling about a horse property I'd found. It was more than I could afford so I was musing about boarding animals for other people. I have no horse experience, but I thought how hard could it be to rent space.

My friend started screaming how it was hard work and I shouldn't even consider it because I didn't know anything about horses. It wasn't even like she was trying to steer me away from the idea, I felt she was calling me stupid for even thinking it for a second. After a few minutes of stunned silence, I muttered that I wasn't planning on torturing horses.

We're no longer friends. I can't stay around people who crap on my dreams in the planning stages. Kind guidance and pointing out pitfalls can actually excite me. Then it's a feeling of you're taking me seriously. Just screaming "stupid idea" makes me think of YOU as MEAN.

Part of my idea involves contact with people who have disabilities. Though I may still work on this project, I kind of don't want to at the same time.

As a kid, I frequently got lumped into the group "handicapped." Now I am a realist, my vision gives me grief and I wouldn't want others to have it. If I could cure it and the cure had a good percent chance of working and wouldn't hurt me trying it, I'd do it.

So lumped into the group, I found there were nice people and there are not nice people with disabilities. Duh, groups of humans has every kind in it. Though, far more imperfect people have a "poor me" attitude than I like. That gets on my nerves.

I want to be around people who grab the world by the tail and go for it. I want to view the world and share my views and be admired and praised for that.

Perhaps I am not in control of the kind of people I will meet and just need to keep MY attitude and let other people have theirs. Now I feel a lot better. I am not in control so why lament that? Do what I can to encourage and admire others and not be the mean friend who finds fault with the lives of others.

Funny, I started this post with one thought and now I'm ending it with another.

Kind comments welcome.