Unchain Your Heart

My friend Zan told me George Clooney and his girlfriend broke up. She wanted kids and ole Georgie wants to remain the rogue bachelor. At least he knows what he wants and she's smart enough to see that and not sit around pining for him to "change."

People don't. Well, that's not true, every choice someone makes changes them, but most people just want to do what they want to do. They don't change on your schedule. Like whacking one billiard ball with another, you can influence others behaviors, but that whacking can't turn them into a butterfly.

If you want a beautiful winged insect, stop looking in pool halls.

Clearly define what you want BEFORE you start going out with ANYONE! If you want to have a good time, no strings attached, go find someone who shares those values. It's a good idea to be VERY CAREFUL you know yourself and understand what all of you wants. You might find yourself in love with someone you picked as a good time Charlie. You changed, he won't.

"Please, universe, send me one like this, only single!" 

I knew Murry before I ever met him. Not only were we friends online, but I had a clear picture in my head of what characteristics I wanted in a mate. I had a sample in my real live friend named Paul. We met at a party and just hit it off as friends. He was happily married to a friend of a friend. He never suggested anything untoward, had he, he wouldn't be my example.

His friendly, easy going attitude gave me a template to shoot for. Plus we talked about all kinds of ideas that made different parts of my brain alight with intrigue. I remember programming my brain to look for someone like Paul. "Please, universe, send me one like this, only single!" Now the song "Mr. Sandman" is playing in my head!

I don't think we get everything we look for, but having a handful of standards helps a lot. I needed someone who's intellect matched mine. Someone into science, space, science fiction and adventuring. I wanted someone with a job, a house and who shared my open minded political views. Since I am unable to drive, I wanted a mate who drove his own decent car.

Dr. Phil suggests a list of "Deal Breakers" too. I've got those. These are just things I don't want in MY life, I don't care if someone has them or does them in their own. I watched too much abuse with my mother so no drinkers, drug addicts, smokers or abusers. I don't want an open relationship. Should Murry find himself infatuated with someone enough to consider cheating, he can come to me and break up. I'd be hurt, but that would be the end. Prejudice and homophobia baffle me, so that's not something I want in a mate.

Dreams can come true. Don't go on a date with George Clooney if you want to be with Tom Hanks. Maybe I'll baffle Murry and start calling him Tom for a while ;)